


Fictober #5 Take What You Need

by KaCole



Series: Voyager Fictober2018 [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Banter, F/M, Kissing, Loyalty, Romance, Wordsofjc, happy ish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 15:15:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16244288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaCole/pseuds/KaCole
Summary: For the Fictober prompt #5 Take what you needKathryn and Chakotay have a silent arrangement: take what you need in darkness, for in daylight the needs of the many come first."He fears one day he will slip and tell her he loves her in the heat of passion. Instead, he kisses her almost brutally hard. She kisses back, harder. They are lost in each other. It is bliss."





	Fictober #5 Take What You Need

This is the silent deal they made: take what you need in darkness, for in daylight the needs of the many come first.

He accepts her deal because he can do no other. He disagrees with her reasoning, but he understands her well enough to know it's the only choice she can make. This ship has become their home, their family, and yet the breaches of protocol and shipboard fraternisation she tolerates in others is a luxury she never affords herself. He supports her in this, as in everything. Stands by her side. Follows her orders. Would lay his life down willingly, like a good solder, for his captain and his crew.

Like always, he waits until the corridors are silent and clear before he strides to her quarters, heart burning. 

He doesn't pause to chime at the doorway, they have long since agreed waiting outside means more chance of being noticed. It's better that doesn’t happen. 

She isn't in bed, although it's late. She looks gnawed-through as she sits with a tumbler of something strong in her hand. Her hair is unbrushed, her uniform jacket discarded. It's been a relentless, loss-filled day for them all, but for her more than anyone. She looks weighted down.

He goes to her and she looks up, her blue eyes seething with want and regret.  

He stoops before her, taking her hand. “What do you need, Kathryn?”

“Make me forget,” she whispers.

As he pulls her gently to her feet she turns her face up. 

He kisses her so softly it feels like a sigh slipping between them, erasing their uniforms and pips. Disregarding protocols that belong to a distant sector of space. A different life.  

He can make them both forget, for a while. 

Her hands shake as she finds his zipper. The kiss becomes more urgent. She pulls him inevitably towards her bed. They always end up here when he comes here like this.  

Slowly, he strips away Starfleet and reveals the woman beneath, warm, soft and yielding. He is always awe-struck at the moment when they become simply man and woman, bare of duty and focused only on each other. 

She groans as he touches her, sinks her nails into his back, greedy for sensations to take her out of herself. He kisses her again. He is in no mood to rush. These times are too precious not to savour. He kisses her neck, and slowly works his way lower, toward her belly. Lower still. He is tender and thorough, and he drives her wild with his tongue until she is red-faced and over sensitised, gasping with need and he dares to hope, as he kisses his way back up to her, that he's succeeded in giving her more than just an orgasm. 

He wants her to never want anyone else. Only to want more and more of  _ him _ . 

She grasps him firmly, making it very clear where she wants him and that it has to be  _ now _ . He is more than happy to oblige. 

They gasp as they join. He moves slowly inside her, forcing himself to remain steady when he feels about to explode. 

It is when they are together like this he feels that he really knows her. The raw need in her eyes. Giving herself over to an emotion bigger than both of them. Letting go. She is wild and beautiful and completely Kathryn. 

He fears one day he will slip and tell her he loves her in the heat of passion. Instead, he kisses her almost brutally hard. She kisses back, harder. They are lost in each other. It is bliss. 

She rises with him, close to coming. “Don't hold back,” she whispers as he thrusts.

He explodes with her. They gasp a little together and then laugh a little too. The universe turns around them while they lie locked in each other. 

“That was intense,” he finally manages.  

“The perfect end to a terrible day.”

He wants to hold onto Kathryn for longer, because he knows that when they part the captain will return. But inevitably she shifts beneath him and they move apart.

“Did you get what you need?” he asks. He hopes there’s no trace of whining or petulance in his voice, or worse, hurt. He is already mentally preparing himself to leave. 

She props herself up on her elbow. She looks almost shy. “I don’t think so. Not everything. Do you… have time to stay a little longer?”

He smiles and says lightly, “Only for the next seventy years or so. After that I‘m a little busy.”

Kathryn brings her head his shoulder and rests her palm flat on his chest. He slips an arm around her and they hold each other. It's the first time she hasn't chased him away after they've made love. He hardly dares move in case he breaks the spell. 

“You could stay tonight,” she murmurs. 

“If that's what you need.”

“It's what I  _ want _ .” 

His heart lifts. “I've wanted that too, for a very long time.”  

“Then stay, Chakotay. We’ll deal with everything else in the morning.” 

Those words are not everything he's hoped for. It's not commitment, or longing, or a declaration of love. But it's probably the next best thing. It's a start. He'll take it.    

**Author's Note:**

> Really happy I've found these prompts to get my muse flowing again!  
> I respond to all comments.  
> Kudos is love :)


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